Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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