god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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