Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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