yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize