I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
