guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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