Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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