I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
