susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
