You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
