Your tits are I can't wait for
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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