apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize