Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
