Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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