Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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