I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
