sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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