saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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