I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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