white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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