Your tits are I can't wait for
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
