so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
