I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
