Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I need moral support for this bender
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
