I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
