Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
