I have demons in me.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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