Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
