I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
