IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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