thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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