I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Congratulations! We have a period
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