I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
