I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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