Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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