and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
