I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
