I want to walk on stilts...naked
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize