i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How does it feel to date your dad?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
