I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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