Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize