there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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