Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
