Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
