I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize