I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
