So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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