We're like a lot better than the average bears
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
