I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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