at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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