Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
