can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
