I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
