dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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