What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
