That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
