see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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