I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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