Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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