Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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