you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
