is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
