would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
