Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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