Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
